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How to Break Away From Shyness?
Part 2: Acting Upon Your Individuality
One of the toughest things we will face, and perhaps overcome is being our authentic self. Can you honestly answer the question: "Who are you?" to your family, friends, acquaintances, co-workers, boss and strangers? Honoring your authentic self means getting rid of all the masks that we put on during the day, the public persona, and perhaps personal persona we wear in order to shield and hide our true self from being hurt by another's reaction of us.
So, who are you? When I first asked this question to myself, my answer was very generic including mother, daughter, homemaker, business owner etc. What truly describe the essence of who I was left me uneasy to express for the longest time. Who I was included what was most important to me, my values and beliefs, which included all my values and beliefs connected with my spirituality. When it came time to say I was spiritual, I was very nervous of another's reaction so it stayed hidden for a long time to keep me safe. As I began to unveil myself, I would get comments like, "….people must think you are really different", or I would get others who would try and shut me down through criticism, judgments and put-downs. At that time, life was giving me a choice to be either true to myself and speak my truth, or conform amongst the people who were prevalent in my life, and those who were not, in order to fit in. I chose to honor myself, and it feels great, now.
For those who feel shy inside, being you can seem like an insurmountable mountain as you exist in social settings and relationships with desires to be open and to have fun. The unwanted self-talk keeps you stuck in an isolated and quiet box marked 'safe.' Although, at one time it may have been safe to have stayed quiet in order to feel secure, we sometimes unknowingly begin to generalize a bit too much, until that one unsafe situation has been generalized to many other similar circumstances allowing silence to prevail all the time. Although, as individuals we would rather blame life's circumstances or people in our lives for our dis-ease, if your behavior pattern was traced back in your timeline, you would find you made a decision at sometime to own your unwanted emotion(s). We are the only ones responsible for our reactions.
Now, as you begin to own your decisions, you become open to healing your unwanted emotions and transforming them into something desirable. This process is very difficult to do without the guidance of myself, a life coach. So, I do recommend booking a session with me to help you get some relief from the stress and pain of your 'safe' box. However, in the meantime, think about whom you are and what that looks or feels like to you, and then write it down or draw a picture of it. This will help you open up to your potential and your possibilities.
Until next month,
Krista McKay
Life coach/Freelance writer
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