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How to Break Away From Shyness?
Part 1: Building a Stronger Self
Seven years ago a young woman walked into a counsellor office feeling confused, scared and very unhappy with whom she had become. She felt lost, no longer knowing who she was and where she belonged. Somewhere her dreams, passions and desires got sweep away with that thing called 'life.' As she sat across from the counsellor, she showed no expressions of joy, sadness nor overwhelm. She had shutdown emotional forgetting how to feel and have fun again. As the woman discussed her stresses and her inner desires, the counsellor was quick to interrupt to say:"....the first thing we need to do is take care of you."
Breaking away from shyness is a very individual process. Its' progress is often contingent on where you are in your emotional development, and how quick you are willing to accept and act on change. I know we all like quick fixes to our problems, and sometimes our self-awareness is at a place that will support the solution. Sometimes, nevertheless, there is work to be done, steps to take in order to get where we want to go and we must sign up for a longer haul. Another very important point to remember is that this process does not come without some tears, sadness and fear. Unfortunately, most of us shutdown these emotions because it is so uncomfortable to feel them, it is easier to quickly think about something else and pretend that thought and feeling never existed. This behaviour only weakens a healthy body through unwanted emotions that have been stuffed away for a rainy day.
When you begin, you will be rebuilding yourself. Some of you will have hit rock bottom before you begin, others will not. Regardless of where you start in your life, you will start rebuilding yourself; picking up all the broken pieces of you and putting them back together in a different way, replacing old pieces with a better fitting piece, slowly putting your broken soul back together. You will begin building a stronger self, one that commands instead of demands, one that loves instead of hates, one that has courage instead of fear, one that is receiving instead of grasping, one that is forgiving instead of resenting, one that is nurturing instead of draining, and one that is free instead of regulated. And, as you become aware of these emotions, note that none of these polarities can exist simultaneous with the other. You are either one or the other at any given time.
Below is a first step for transforming into the new you. As you begin remember, nothing in life worthwhile comes easy. And, yes you are worth it; each and every one of you is worth it, so stop your ego now from convincing you of anything different.
- Make a list of what is most important to you right now. Choose your top five priorities with number 1 being your top priority and number 5 being of least priority. Then consider how much time daily you spend on each one.
Until next month,
Krista McKay
Life coach/Freelance writer
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